Ashley warily eyed the control panel on the washing machine. She suspected that one false move might break the machine, cause bodily injury or---worse---ruin her favorite sweater. Ashley, a college freshman, had never done laundry by herself.

Ashley is a fictional character, but this scenario and others like it play out every fall in college dormitories throughout the United States.

One of our most important jobs as parents is to teach our children how to take care of themselves. How do we do that, though, when we can't even get them to pick up their socks?
Home Sweet Home

"When my kids were small, they didn't always help clean up, and I never used a job chart," said Stacey Nymeyer, mother of three. "But having a clean house was important to me, and it became important to the kids. When our house is clean, we're happy. We can find what we need, we can invite friends over without embarrassment and we just feel better.

"I always stressed the reasons for having a clean house over complicated chore charts. Anyone can figure out how to clean a room once they're motivated to do so."

So, if a clean house is a happy house, where do we start? And how do we turn that into a life lesson? Some do so by organizing the house so that everything has a proper place and insisting that all family members put things away. Adopting this approach will keep your house cleaner and teach children to appreciate order.

Children are easily overwhelmed by the task of cleaning a huge mess. When they're young, work with them to accomplish tasks and break jobs down into manageable steps, advises Marie-Nathalie Beaudoin, Ph.D., author of "The SKILL-ionaire in EVERY Child: Boosting Children's Socio-Emotional Skills Using the Latest in Brain Research."

Children are more willing to help if you give them simple directions, such as, "You put all the dinosaur toys in this box, and I'll put the crayons in the basket."

As children get older, offer them a choice of jobs and give them advance notice. Don't use chores as punishments or rewards, but rather as an opportunity to contribute to family life. If job charts and lists work for your kids, use them---as long as your approach is positive.

The weekly command to "clean your room" often results in slammed doors and hurt feelings. Ask yourself what children are really learning in these circumstances.

The most important point to remember, notes Dr. Joseph Shrand, instructor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, is that children learn best through positive role-modeling and encouragement. "If we are demeaned, we turn off, and so will our kids," Shrand said.

Many families have a family work date on Saturday mornings, followed by a fun activity. Plan your schedule so you accomplish chores together regularly. Perhaps you fold laundry together while you watch television one afternoon each week, or you spend 15 minutes picking up clutter before you go to bed.

Start these rituals when children are young, and consistently observe them. Children may balk sometimes and probably won't always perform their jobs perfectly, but with time they'll come to realize the value of contributing.

Express appreciation for your children's efforts, says Beaudoin, and give specific, positive feedback, such as, "I noticed how hard you worked on dusting the table. You kept going even though you wanted to play outside. Look how shiny and nice it looks now." Discuss the values you are trying to teach, such as hard work, determination and persistence.
The Big Picture

Teaching your kids responsibility may seem like an uphill battle, but they're absorbing more than you know. Nymeyer recalls a phone call she received from her college-age daughter. "Mom, I went to the grocery store, and I bought everything you buy," her daughter said. "Now what do I do with it?"

Nymeyer's daughter had never shown much interest in cooking at home, but when faced with learning to cook or subsisting on ramen noodles and beef jerky, she quickly mastered a few skills. Today, Nymeyer said, her daughter is the queen of stir-fry.

When your children leave for college or another endeavor, cooking, laundry and basic housekeeping skills suddenly gain new value. The child who never picked up his clothes may suddenly become a neat freak in his own apartment. The child who never seemed to listen to your instructions calls home frequently for advice, asking, for example, what kind of laundry detergent to buy and how to defrost chicken.

Parenting doesn't end when your child leaves home; you'll still have many opportunities to teach skills. When I recently asked my own daughter if she was getting enough fruits and vegetables at college, she complained that the big bunches of bananas the store sells turn brown before she can eat them all. I suggested that she break off two or three bananas from the bunch and just buy those.

She responded with the words every parent hopes to hear: "Wow, Mom, you're brilliant! What would I do without you?"

Visible panty lines (VPLs) can ruin any good outfit, while invisible panty lines will help to enhance your looks by making your figure seem sleeker and sexier. Many clothes hide your undergarments, but some outline them a little too well; this usually happens with thinner material or tight-fitting clothing. Dresses, skirts, and slacks are the main culprits that show off your perfectly outlined behind.

To avoid this common fashion faux pas, there are several simple things you can do, so don't leave your house looking fabulous only to ruin it by showing off your VPL. Avoid VPLs with the following simple steps.

Understand what causes visible panty lines. VPLs occur at the point where your backside cheeks are intersected by tight elastic of the panties.[1] The backside cheeks have little place else to go but to bulge out either side, while the elastic dips in, creating a visible indented line or more.

Select underwear suited to your backside shape. There are so many choices nowadays, that something will work the best for your shape, although it may take a few tries to hit on the best fit and style. The most important thing is to purchase panties that fit! Make sure that when you are picking out underwear, the panty covers your buttocks properly, at least to the extent of coverage the panties are supposed to give and that they do not dig in (too tight). Equally, if you choose underwear that is too loose, it can easily wrinkle up inside your clothes leaving you lacking a smooth, sleek look and just showing wrinkles and bumps.

For a boyish figure: Try a boy-cut panty which will avoid cutting your rear.[2] Boy shorts provide full coverage, and you can get them in elastic or mesh to better avoid panty lines. These materials prevent your underwear from bunching up under your clothes and leave you with a full-coverage, smooth look.

Choose the right fabric. Underwear that is less likely to create VPLs are panties that shape themselves best to your body. Elastic and spandex panties will work well to create a seamless fit, whereas cotton panties will often give a rumpled look, along with the VPL. However, it is clear that cotton panties are comfortable, and most women have them in abundance, so part of the trick is to avoid wearing them with outfits where they will definitely show. Given that much cotton underwear has thicker elastic, this is more likely to show through many of your outfits, so be sure to check in the mirror or ask a trusted friend for honest advice as to how it looks. Most elastic and spandex underwear uses a thinner band, helping to avoid panty lines.

Take care with color. While bright pink panties with a dark outfit might be fine, the image changes rapidly when worn under white or other light clothing! Suddenly, much more is revealed than expected! Match your underwear to your skin tones when wearing light clothing. Flesh-colored underwear blends in with your skin, leaving invisible panty lines. Keep in mind that flesh-colored underwear means it closely matches your skin tone. If it is too much lighter or darker than your skin tone, then the VPLs will still show through.

Opt for a thong or a similar alternative. This is the number one option to avoid panty lines. Thongs simply don’t have the lines to show, making the choice easy for many women. Be sure to check out the rear view when you sit or squat; those positions tend to expose half the thong if you’re wearing low-riders. However, there are women who don’t like to wear thongs, and for those women, there are a few other options:

Shape your body with your panties. Body shaping underwear is another great option to a thong. This style of underwear starts higher up on your waist and comes down to your mid thighs. Elastic or spandex styles give you a smooth and sleek look. It can also have some constricting properties that can suck in unwanted bulges, making you look and feel great.

Consider wearing boy shorts, boxer shorts, or French knickers.[4] These are a great option if you don’t want to wear a thong; the longer leg will eliminate panty lines that cut across the butt. But if your pants are tight, the edges still may show.

Go commando! If you're brave enough to do this, simply go commando (don't wear underwear). This is the only way to know that there are no panty lines whatsoever and it can feel rather secretly sexy. However, many women feel uncomfortable doing this, and would be happier wearing a thong or another type of underwear. You could also go "faux commando" by ordering disposable cotton patches that adhere to the inside of your pants, allowing you the freedom of no underwear without any discomfort.

Test-drive panties made of paper-thin microfiber. This is a light, stretchy material that eliminates bulging.

Take extra special care with tight clothing. Tight clothing will always bring out a VPL if there is one to bring out. The answer to this is to wear a thong or a laser-cut brief.[5] These won't dig into your flesh and you'll have no VPL.